A Nigerian linguist, Ogbonnaya Okoro, has shared his experience with an overly dedicated hotel receptionist who offered herself to him. Read below:
I just checked into this hotel, took my bath, stepped out to walk round the street before I would start work.
The instruction is to drop key. I presented the key to the receptionist.
“Can I talk to you?” She asked.
“Why not?” I drew my ears closer.
She looked up and down, uneasy like one about to steal meat from pot. Nobody seemed to be coming.
“In case you need a toy to play with I am equal to the task”.
It took a few seconds for this to register into my small head. I laughed like a mad man. Like…am I in Nigeria or finally moved to obodo oyibo? But I like blunt ladies. Nd? Naija ad?r? blunt. Then no be Naija I Dey.
This must be in the dream. I had to pinch myself. Two things are involved. First, if the pinch pains me, it is reality. Second, if I feel no pains, then it’s dream. But the pinch pained me. It’s true.
When I was paying for the room, she passed me the rules and regulations. Smoking isn’t allowed. I told her no need. I don’t smoke.
“But those who smoke are good in bed”
I pretended I didn’t hear that. Of course nt? chiri m. Aunty press POS make I dey Waka, I have deadlines
This time around…”toy”.
Ya b? ka m p?wa toy.
The angels began to whisper into my ears:
Any? gbaga ?s? eluigwe…
But one useless spirit was telling me: “opportunity comes but once”…
Ma Angel Michael ma Angel Gabriel, ha n? m left and right….mma agha turning as it did Adam and Eve when they left Eden.
? b?ara ?r?, focus!
As I turned to look at her…
I paused, she paused; both of us paused.
?n?kwa m toy? Ap?gburu m onwe m na toy.